Sunday, January 14, 2007

What is in my coffin freezer?


I just bought a new coffin-style freezer for my Arizona backyard, with the original intent to trap birds inside. Now I need freezer space, so I plugged it in. My electrical bill is $2,300 a month.

Here is what I have in the five bins.

Bin One: Clusters of trapped birds (see original use)

Bin Two: 12 Digiorno frozen pizzas and one human left hand (hand obtained legally under "fair use" laws)

Bin Three: 9 Venison steaks and one I.O.U for a matching human right hand

Bin Four: Frozen "Otter" Pops, Dreamcicles, Orange Push-Ups

Bin Five: "The Experiment" (I can't go into detail, but if you look closely in Bins Two and Three, it may give you a clue of what is going on in Bin Five!)

I hope this gives you insight to me and my family. When you come for us, please know that we do not appreciate being beaten and shot with tazer guns before arrest. Please have respect for our choice.

By the way, I can't wait for Heroes to come back!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"joke of satire do not come for us"
"all your base are belong to us"

Greg Rice said...

More come to us belong to us, yes.

Politizi!

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