Photo by post apocalyptic design
Forget that less-than-a-man Emeril and that vicious Rachel Ray person (she really is a nasty human being). If you want to add some wonderful flavor to your food, just add a "virus!"
Viral cooking has been around the Internet for years, as people "pass on" recipes that catch like wildfire. But did you know that viruses also exist in real life, as people "pass on" these viruses using their bodily fluids?
These viruses have many uses. They can make you deathly ill. They can make your bowels explode with liquid waste. And they can taste delicious!
Some major spinach farmers and chain restaurants and are all ready exploring these viruses to tasty results. How can you take advantage of this hot (zone) trend? Here are some ideas.
Add avian lymphomatosis virus to meat loaf. Result: a spicy "garlic" taste plus Marek's disease.
Add influenzavirus C to pasta primavera. Result: a spicy "lemon" taste plus a local epidemic in humans and pigs.
Add pseudocowpox to your Asian chicken salad. Result: a strong, spicy "manure" taste plus ring/horseshoe shaped scabs on your teats.
Simply put: If you don't add viruses to your food, you are a pussy.
3 comments:
Never has "Eat shit and die!" been such a tempting invitation!
But we foodies are always on the lookout for what's around the corner. And in this case, another trend is desserts that will actually cost you your soul. That's right—those treats your mom's adjective-challenged book-club partners refer to as "sinful" upon digestion can now consign you to the seventh circle of Hell when you shuffle off this mortal coil. Delicious!
Hey! That was me, Wayne Cheeze! I wrote that!
Thank goodness it was you Wayne! I have been tormented in the past by arkadin3000 and believed him dead. Thank the gods I will not be returning to my eternal stuggle with the Wretched One.
Long live Sir Cheese!
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