Tuesday, January 2, 2007

BMW Drivers Do Us a Great Service: They're Royal Assholes!


Picture by Andy Fogg

There is a fine service that the BMW Drivers of America provide... they are major league assholes! We should salute these yeomen as they cut us off on the freeway, float from lane to lane without regard for others, and talk to other assholes on their cells.

Why should we praise them? For one, they have earned the right to be an asshole. They have decided they should not "save money" or "live in a nice house" in order to afford the lease payment of these very expensive Performance Machines.

But more importantly, society needs assholes. Here is an example that many of you have experienced in your day-to-day life.

Zor, God of Goats, needs to rip apart a human for his weekly sacrifice.

"Should I pick the poor person? The minority? The single working mother? Decisions, decisions..."

Then Zor is cut off on the 210 freeway by a blue BMW 328i Coupe that is changing three lanes at once.

"Of course," he thinks. And the decision is made for him.

I could print several other examples here: involving cannibals, serial rapists, and testers of poison - who all need to select a "random" person for a nefarious task.

Isn't it comforting that there is a BMW asshole ready to take the bullet for us all?

By the way, assholes, I hear the Z4s are quite a kick! Lease one today!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

If I drive a BMW, am I automatically an asshole? Or is there simply a pretty high correlation between the two?

Greg Rice said...

You have a TK Rules exemption, cause... you RULE, TK! Hi!

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