Stress Induced Ailments of the Eyeball

If your eyeball is acting like a total jerk, it is clearly because you have fallen victim of the many stress-induced ailments of the eyeball.

Symptom: One eyeball looks at a ladies knickers while the other is desperate to maintain eye contact.
Cause: Stress induced by secret knicker fetish.
Ailment Name: Disease of the Unmentionables

Symptom: A spot on your eyeball shows you the inner evil of your workmates.
Cause: Stress induced by covering up your boss' murdering.
Ailment Name: Enabler Eyeball of the DeathDealers

Symptom: A laser beam emits from your eye, only to be stopped by ruby quartz.
Cause: Stress induced by constant invasion of privacy from psychic professor.
Ailment Name: Scottsummersitus

Symptom: Bleeding eyeball
Cause: You are an underdeveloped James Bond villain
Ailment Name: Poor Script Writing

I hope that helps. If any of these apply to you, either smoke some "wacky tobaccy" to cut your stress down, or just gouge our your eye and be done with it.

Photo by dbking