Like everyone, I got a hundred pants when my parents kicked me out of their house. And like the rest of you, I wore each pair of pants until they were too dirty to continue, and then I threw them away.
(If you are reading this from a foreign country, please know that Americans like to waste pants. It is part of our cultural heritage. So if you are offended by our waste, you are intolerant. I love tolerance! For example, I am OK with those Indian people not eating all those cows.)
Anyway, back to the pants. I guess I did not ration out my pants wearing properly, since here I am at 57 years old... all out of pants! What am I going to do?
Right now, I have painted a pair of blue jeans on my bare legs. But my legs are hairy, so they don't really fool anyone. And it is winter and I fear consumption from the dire cold.
The only way to get more pants is to either a) find some in others trash that have a few weeks more of wear on them, or b) travel to Canada to "buy" them.
But I would rather die in the cold than wear Canadian pants! So me and my naked blue bottom will be visiting your trash can soon!
Help me out... if there are no pants in your trash, please write "NO PANTS" on a sign on your trash can. Good night.
(If you are reading this from a foreign country, please know that Americans like to waste pants. It is part of our cultural heritage. So if you are offended by our waste, you are intolerant. I love tolerance! For example, I am OK with those Indian people not eating all those cows.)
Anyway, back to the pants. I guess I did not ration out my pants wearing properly, since here I am at 57 years old... all out of pants! What am I going to do?
Right now, I have painted a pair of blue jeans on my bare legs. But my legs are hairy, so they don't really fool anyone. And it is winter and I fear consumption from the dire cold.
The only way to get more pants is to either a) find some in others trash that have a few weeks more of wear on them, or b) travel to Canada to "buy" them.
But I would rather die in the cold than wear Canadian pants! So me and my naked blue bottom will be visiting your trash can soon!
Help me out... if there are no pants in your trash, please write "NO PANTS" on a sign on your trash can. Good night.
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