I have been elected the President of the Board of Tourism of Shark Mountain, and would love for you to come visit us.
Shark Mountain is actually a beautiful (and only slightly hilly!) island nation in the South Pacific. The country's name changed from Shark Island to Shark Mountain in 1993, after being sued for copyright infringement by another so-called Shark Island (this one off the coast of Cape Town).
While we do have "a shark or two," you'll find your raft ride over from the mainland swift and uneventful. Our sharks want you to have a good time while you are here! :)
Our food is prepared by world class chefs, and is all complementary. Please 'fatten up' while you are here!
You'll also enjoy our state-of-the-art guest rooms, each equipped with the revolutionary "canal bed" - literally a floating mattress on a salt-water canal that runs through your room. These canals are wide (even wide enough for a shark, ha ha!) and are all interconnected to each other and the ocean. The canals also have a moderate current, which keeps the water clean and free of dirt and (god-forbid) blood.
For a limited time, a special 7 day vacation on Shark Island with free gourmet food is $195 U.S per week. I encourage you to come to our country, eat our free food until you are fat, fall asleep on our salt-water canals, and be devoured... by fun.
Shark Mountain is actually a beautiful (and only slightly hilly!) island nation in the South Pacific. The country's name changed from Shark Island to Shark Mountain in 1993, after being sued for copyright infringement by another so-called Shark Island (this one off the coast of Cape Town).
While we do have "a shark or two," you'll find your raft ride over from the mainland swift and uneventful. Our sharks want you to have a good time while you are here! :)
Our food is prepared by world class chefs, and is all complementary. Please 'fatten up' while you are here!
You'll also enjoy our state-of-the-art guest rooms, each equipped with the revolutionary "canal bed" - literally a floating mattress on a salt-water canal that runs through your room. These canals are wide (even wide enough for a shark, ha ha!) and are all interconnected to each other and the ocean. The canals also have a moderate current, which keeps the water clean and free of dirt and (god-forbid) blood.
For a limited time, a special 7 day vacation on Shark Island with free gourmet food is $195 U.S per week. I encourage you to come to our country, eat our free food until you are fat, fall asleep on our salt-water canals, and be devoured... by fun.
3 comments:
This is Hans Wexler, attorney for Shark Island of Cape Town. Consider this a warning: if you mention anything further about the litigation in which your company and my client previously engaged, you will be in violation of Settlement Agreement dated July 12, 1998. In that event, my client will undertake all legal recourse.
Consider this a CEASE AND DESIST notification. Watch yourself, fat boy.
While my weight three months ago was a agreeably large 275 lbs., I am now down to a healthy 190, due to the loss of both of my legs through some kind of animal attack (unspecified).
Who's the fatty now?
I have been empowered to convey the the condolences of Shark Island Cape Town. Shout out to your stumps.
HW, Esq.
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