I am "Iron Man"

With the Iron Man movie coming out, I thought I would catch the fever and replace a piece of my body with iron. I am not familiar with the Iron Man character, but I'd imagine it has something to do with replacing a fleshy body part with an iron one.

I first was going to chop off my hand and replace with a robot hand. But robot hands are sooooo the turf of a Matt Helm villain.

So I thought about it and have made my decision. I have replaced my skin-based pituitary gland with an iron-based one.

But the joke is on me. My new iron pituitary gland secretes no enzymes, it is just for show. As a result, I have no growth hormone, and am now 45% my original size. I am also lactating breast milk at a wicked pace.

At least I should be able to get on my local news once the Iron Man movie comes out.

It is directed by Jon Favreau.

Art by Adi Granov