Someone with mild genetic stupidness (not the sad kind, but the kind that is OK to make fun of) asked me a question today. "What are the names of the five seasons?" Since he had that funny genetic stupidness, I thought this was another one of his dumb, dumb questions.
But it turns out he is right. There are, in fact, five seasons.
1) Winter
2) Spring
3) Summer
4) Fall, or "Autumn"
5) James Van Der Beek
How is this true? Were there not only four seasons just weeks ago? And why is one of the seasons the name of a forgotten Dawson's Creek star?
James Van Der Beek is indeed a real season. It lasts 8 days, and is in mid-December - that time that really should be winter, but still is technically fall (cause fall is a dick and won't give it up).
What do you do for these 8 days? Play football in colorful leaves or drink hot cocoa and wrap presents? Turns out neither. You watch Varsity Blues and The Rules of Attraction and weep for what might have been.
Why did James Van Der Beek get his own season? Turns out he is the distant grandson of black wizard Oliver Cromwell. And therefore he is the most powerful magician in Hollywood, second only to Babe-star James Cromwell.
If you don't believe me, check it out in Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasons. (If it is not in the entry when you check, some non-believer has taken out my edit!)
One other perk during the James Van Der Beek season... murder without consequence or remorse!
But it turns out he is right. There are, in fact, five seasons.
1) Winter
2) Spring
3) Summer
4) Fall, or "Autumn"
5) James Van Der Beek
How is this true? Were there not only four seasons just weeks ago? And why is one of the seasons the name of a forgotten Dawson's Creek star?
James Van Der Beek is indeed a real season. It lasts 8 days, and is in mid-December - that time that really should be winter, but still is technically fall (cause fall is a dick and won't give it up).
What do you do for these 8 days? Play football in colorful leaves or drink hot cocoa and wrap presents? Turns out neither. You watch Varsity Blues and The Rules of Attraction and weep for what might have been.
Why did James Van Der Beek get his own season? Turns out he is the distant grandson of black wizard Oliver Cromwell. And therefore he is the most powerful magician in Hollywood, second only to Babe-star James Cromwell.
If you don't believe me, check it out in Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasons. (If it is not in the entry when you check, some non-believer has taken out my edit!)
One other perk during the James Van Der Beek season... murder without consequence or remorse!
No comments:
Post a Comment