I am tasked with writing a scathing attack on this very nice woman. Powerful people are paying me to do this, so she must have pissed off someone.
All I found out about her is that she is good-natured and kind to children. That ain't funny!
She likes the Packers, which is more lame and sad than funny.
I'll make up three lies about her...
1) She once dressed up a dog in a Joe Stalin costume and made out with it.
2) She once called up Shirley Temple Black and agreed with her crazy pro-Vietnam opinions.
3) She once destroyed one of the "Twenty-Four Histories," specifically the Book of Wei. Now China only had 23 Histories - which is totally creepy given that Jim Carrey movie is coming out where he is scared of that number.
Ah, I need help... Post some comments with attacks on this woman! The secret power brokers want her taken down!
6 comments:
Is lie #1 an oblique reference to "Russian Bizarre Dog?"
It is not, since I did not say that the dog had mittens on his hands.
I suspect this may not be the real Lou "Louis" T., as Durkins does not yet have internet access.
It is indeed the real Lou T. and I haven't frequented Durkins in years. You are so three neighborhood bars behind on me.
I dearly miss Lou!
Have you found a replacement for either "all the fish you wish" or "all the ocra you could hope'fa?"
There's a new all you can eat Mediterranean restaurant that offers "enough falafel to make you feel awful" every Thursday night that I've been frequenting...
She likes short bald Armenians.
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