An ill advised law

The most troubling law passed last week during the midterm elections was California's Proposition 94, making illegal "the tying of string-like objects for the sake of securing or binding."

This is an obvious sop to the Velcro lobby. And outside the tripping/stumbling that will be happening as our good citizens transition out of lace-based shoes, there are many more problems with this law.

This law makes it illegal to tie anchors to small watercrafts. Wednesday saw many tour and fishing boats unable to stay in a single spot of ocean.

This law makes it illegal to twirl your handlebar mustache in a menacing way, as both your mustache and your finger are legally defined as "string-like."

The law makes it illegal to spray Silly String nearly everywhere, except on very thin and wide objects (e.g. a square yard of wax paper).

Why was this "bad for California" law passed? It was backed by political television ads that depicted graphic hardcore sex.

Also the title of the proposition was misleading: "The Free Graphic Hardcore Sex or String Non-Binding Proposition." Most people thought that the choice between free sex and string non-binding was up to the individual. It is not.

Governor Schwarzenegger, please allow me to keep tying this old dog in my basement to the radiator - and repeal this law!