Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Notes from the Bracketologist!


I've got a great idea! With the NCAA tourney coming up, why not try to predict the "brackets" ahead of time. Maybe you can compare your predictions with others in your office for a slight wager?

If you do this, I have firm suggestions that will force you a win.

1) Even though he is cute and hilarious, bet against the team that has "Air Bud" as a player. Dogs are genetically bad at basketball.

2) Many teams from the south are deliberately starved of food prior to their first weekend's game as a motivation technique. Pick these teams to win in the first round, since they are working on pure adrenaline and fury. But pick them to lose in the second game, since that is the point when their bodies will begin to eat themselves.

3) The Jamacian Bobsled Basketball team is 0-29 in the tourney all time. So they are due to win. Bet them all the way to the Sweet 16.

4) Every Final Four in the past 15 years had featured either Duke, or a team that is a fan of "The Duke of New York" (aka Issac Hayes). Since Duke is awful this year, throw a screening of Escape from New York and see what team shows up. Advance that team to the Championship Round.

5) When in doubt, always bet on the team with the most corrupt booster program.

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