It's really quite simple. Once our plan is complete, we will rule your so-called "earth."
First we will coordinate distinguished character actors to open assault businesses posing as free candy bar distribution. Then the character actors will recruit particularly lousy actors to run the day-to-day businesses, assaulting formerly successful 80's actors. Very little chocolate bars will actually change hands.
This is how it works, for example. Ned Beatty runs a business which enlists James Van Der Beek's help in convincing Corey Haim to come down into a subway early in the morning, for promise of free chocolate.
Instead of free candy, however, Van Der Beek assaults Haim and calls his mother a dirty whore - mainly to release the anxiety caused by Beatty, who did the same thing to him hours earlier in the very same subway station.
The entire thing ends when the frustrated Haim, dressed in black, walks down the subway tracks in search for his owed chocolate. A morning trains destroys him.
Repeat the process enough times, and the earth is ours!
I pity you.
Coooree' Fqhel-dah-man
(best alien translation possible after seeing The Lost Boys)
First we will coordinate distinguished character actors to open assault businesses posing as free candy bar distribution. Then the character actors will recruit particularly lousy actors to run the day-to-day businesses, assaulting formerly successful 80's actors. Very little chocolate bars will actually change hands.
This is how it works, for example. Ned Beatty runs a business which enlists James Van Der Beek's help in convincing Corey Haim to come down into a subway early in the morning, for promise of free chocolate.
Instead of free candy, however, Van Der Beek assaults Haim and calls his mother a dirty whore - mainly to release the anxiety caused by Beatty, who did the same thing to him hours earlier in the very same subway station.
The entire thing ends when the frustrated Haim, dressed in black, walks down the subway tracks in search for his owed chocolate. A morning trains destroys him.
Repeat the process enough times, and the earth is ours!
I pity you.
Coooree' Fqhel-dah-man
(best alien translation possible after seeing The Lost Boys)
1 comment:
The bitter final irony: The cycle of abuse began when Beatty was similarly assaulted by the father of William ("Karate Kid," "The Equalizer") Zabka.
Wayne Cheeze!
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