Irrefutable!

Here is a trick whenever you are in an argument that you are losing. Just say the magic words…

“I am right, because I am a Christian Scientist!”

This ends all debate for two reasons. 1) Christians are very popular these days and who doesn’t love Jesus, 2) Scientists hold all the world’s knowledge through their use of beakers and geographic proof tables. You are the perfect blend of the secular and the divine and therefore win all debates!

It has worked out very well for me. I am winning all my debates, including the last one where I asserted that Fat Free Jelly is neither fat free nor jelly.

The only downside: I am currently dying of an infection that could be easily cured with antibiotics.